As I traverse through all of the transformative junk clamoring around in my head this week, I am simply overwhelmed by the non-physical obstacles that I have been allowing to deter my path.
Recently, I made the call to pull the plug on my “work” life. I did this with the full support and “urging” from my husband after I finally admitted to myself that I had lost the passion for what I had going on. When I first realized this, I thought it would be temporary. I thought I would take a week or two off and then jump back in. It was, afterall, my life’s dream to do what I had been doing for the past 10 years.
Somewhere along that break, I had an aha moment that shook up the way I was thinking. I don’t know if this is what I was supposed to be doing. At the very least, I knew that I couldn’t go back to doing it the same way I had been because in 10 years, I shouldn’t still be struggling the way I was. Yes, I knew that I was making a difference with my clients however, I was sliding into a rut of allowing my clients to dictate too much of the journey. What exactly what I being paid for if there was nothing I was teaching or guiding? I became a paid friend…and that is not what I signed up for when I put myself through school, sacrificed my time to study and then spend all of that damn energy to make a name for myself. I realized that I was no longer proud of what I did. So something definately needed to change for me before I allowed myself to step back into this ever changing world of fitness and nutrition.
I had always marketed myself to be the “relateable” trainer. I was exactly like the majority of my clients for the most part. I had struggled and then pulled my way out of it. Only right now, I wasn’t out of anything. I was almost right back where I had been when I first began my journey.
I no longer deserved to be doing what I did for a living.
Atleast that has been my thinking. So today, I have resigned myself to kick it WAY back and start over…with a few degrees to add to the pile when I take that first step forward. I am simply going to share my journey. Period.
This is where I was when I published my first book. It’s where I started finding my voice to motivate others to dig into their heels and change. It’s where I have been happiest professionally. Writing about the journey. Inspiring others to take the leap. Helping them to find their paths.
Today, I am gladly stepping into the new place. The comfy place of my professional career. I hope that from here, I can continue to make a difference in the lives of people around me.